A Lifetime & A Moment
by BTS-ARMY
Summary: Omegaverse (ABO). In a war torn town, on a road infested with dead bodies, being an omega whose child and alpha are dead, Yao seeks the end to his life. Just when his light is about to go out, he hears a baby's cries. What he discovers will set off a lifetime of pain and joy. ROCHU.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I wanted to write this story for a while now :D and I hope I was able to convey the imagery in my head into words.

There should be a warning for this...but I don't know what to warn lol. This is omegaverse, so Yao is an omega while Ivan is an alpha (well he is a baby here). But there's no sexual content in this chapter, just a bit of mature themes (only a little bit).

There is a summary/explanation at the end. For now, enjoy!

* * *

White ashes and dust fell down reminiscent of snow.

In the fog, the town was blurred like an old painting. Consisting of only shades of grey, the streets extended in highs and lows. The buildings were frozen in the moment right before their fall, surrounded by crumbling stones. The ruins, blackened and charred from where the flames had licked at them, stood solemnly in memory of the days where gunfire and death hadn't touched their flesh.

Heavy dust hung in the air and invaded his lungs as he dragged his feet on the desolated road. He left a trail of blood behind. Glass shards dug up deeply in his soles, yet he continued to walk. There were limps in his steps, and fragility in his form that suggested perhaps the smallest breeze would knock him down.

His lightless eyes whispered his indifference.

Dead bodies lined up on each side of the road. They were stacked up in messy piles; their eyes stared at a sky they would never see. From bullet holes crawled maggots and their ankles showed signs of gnawing from rodents. These bodies, once the repositories of people who lived and breathed, were now abandoned shells left to rot in the open.

How he wished he was one of them. The lone figure thought. His legs moved robotically on their own, taking him further and further down his desired demise. Soon he could be just another corpse in another war torn town, free of all pain and suffering.

Pain.

Which one was it? Of all the emptiness he felt, which one was pain?

The boy's question was left unanswered. Pieces of ash drizzled onto his skin, whereas snow would have melted, they smeared his complexion.

Every step he took was straining. He could hear his bones crying out in despair, and his thin sheet of skin clung loosely to his frame. A ghost in the process of dying, Yao wondered how long it would take for his light to go out.

There was nothing left in this world for him.

The parents that raised him and his siblings were but a distant memory. The man he was mated to… his alpha, had died. Even his _child_ … his poor baby, never had a chance.

A stillborn.

Fate was cruel to him. The baby he had carried for nine months was born dead. The only thing that kept him going through his long journey, the only hope in his nightmare filled dreams turned out to be a foolish illusion. In his labor, through torment and screams, he craved to see his baby's face, prayed to hear the cries of a healthy newborn. But it never came. What came out of him was a carcass of all of his hopes and dreams.

When the world had gone to hell, millions had migrated and escaped. Like scurrying ants, they travelled across countries, desperate to find new beginnings in promised lands. Yao remembered his words. He told him to go east back to where he had come from for safety. He told him to take care of their child while he had to stay behind. And he told him he would find him.

If they were all going to die in the end, Yao wished he never left.

In the fourteen years he lived, his life was not his own. Born as an omega in a wealthy family, he was raised from birth to be fought over as a desirable prize for the day when he would come of age. At twelve years old, his family had chosen a Slavic lord from a line of suitors and Yao could only obey. Sold as if he was cattle, never seeing the alpha he was being mated to until the wedding night, Yao accepted his fate.

Responsibility. Obligation. Discipline. Those three things were drilled into him from a young age, and he knew his only purpose was to bear children for his alpha.

After the war arrived, he was finally conceived with a child. Nine months later, it became a lie.

The sigh that escaped his dry lips was slow and melancholy. Yao was tired. Too tired to walk, too tired to stand, too tired to breathe, and too tired to live.

He didn't wish to join his pitiful child in heaven or to be reunited with his alpha for he knew that death may not promise either one of those things. He simply wanted to cease to exist.

Since his life was as significant as the floating specks of dust, there was no point to live. Might as well disappear into nothing at all.

Yao closed his eyes and waited for his legs to give in to the force of gravity. Silence was comforting and pulled on the strings towards his end. But almost like a murmur he heard something.

Faint and soft, there was a wailing in the distance. It sounded like a baby's cry.

Impossible.

He was the only one in this ghost town. But maybe it was his child calling out to him…perhaps he was already dead.

Yao opened his eyes and willed his legs to start moving again. The sharp pain in his muscles proved that he was indeed alive.

Following the sound like a moth attracted to flame, Yao trudged forward, desperately searching for the source of the noise. Where was it coming from? His eyes darting through the dead bodies flickered restlessly.

He didn't know why he cared, didn't know what he hoped to accomplish from this aimless search. But all of his energy was spend on his legs, so he stopped thinking.

The path he had taken led him to the sound. He had wandered further than he thought he was capable of, and among the heaps of dead bodies the cry echoed sorrowfully.

Yao stopped in his tracks. He was right, it was the cry of a baby. Images of his mummified child flashed through his mind, but he blinked them away. The dead had no voice.

Slowly, his feet stepped one after the other towards his destination. Standing above the corpse of a woman, Yao stared at the nest of flies feasting on her decomposing flesh and the bundle which she held tightly in her stick-like arms.

Her milky eyes looked back at Yao blankly. Flaxen hair frozen around her face resembled dried grass, and her bones were poking out of her ebony skin. Once she might have been beautiful, but now all that remained behind was a skeleton, a home for the flies. But despite of her lifelessness, her hands rigidly clung to the wrapped blanket, forever protecting whatever that was in her arms.

Kneeling down until his kneecap touched the ground, with fingers trembling Yao reached out to the bundle and lifted off the fabric.

He inhaled sharply. No breath came out.

There wrapped in the blanket was a tiny baby crying. He looked malnourished and sickly, yet something about this glimmer of persisting life made Yao's heart stop. Without thinking, he wrestled the bundle out of the dead woman's frozen arms.

Softly rocking the child, Yao attempted to calm him down. "Shh it's okay now little one," he whispered gently. "You're safe here with me."

The child looked like he would be a few months older than his own baby…No, he looked like he could be his own child. Yao looked at him lovingly, wanting nothing more than to stop his soul-piercing bawls.

Almost desperately he cooed, "No p-please don't cry anymore." But the baby kept on wailing.

Panic surged through him. Why was he this bad at this? Did the baby dislike him that much?

Then suddenly he laughed at his own cluelessness. "Silly me, you must be hungry right?"

Yao hoisted up his shirt and brought the baby to his bare breast. Even though his chest was flat, he was an omega who just went into labor a week ago, so he knew he had enough milk in him to feed the child. He squirmed closer and pulled the child's head close. "There…" he said."There." His hand moved behind his head and supported it. His fingers moved gently in his soft beige hair. He could feel his tiny lips puckering on his skin, clamping around his nipple, and the child started suckling. Yao hummed faintly.

After the child was full and one side of Yao's chest became drained, the little one looked at Yao curiously. Tilting his head to the side, he giggled. The smile was contagious and Yao soon found himself to be smiling too. Yao slid his pinky into his open hands and watched as they curled around it. Never in his life had he felt such love for anything.

"What should I call you?" he murmured. The little boy squeezed his pinky.

 _He will be called Ivan. Yao, the name of our baby is going to be Ivan. Ivan Braginsky._

"What about Ivan?" he asked, nose nuzzling against the boy. "Do you like that?"

The child, now named Ivan, beamed in response.

"What a good boy you are," Yao cooed. "Ivan… Vanya…"

Here they were. Two people on the verge of death. An omega who had nothing left, and a little boy who was born to nothing. This world had no place for them and Yao couldn't see how they would ever survive with just the two of them. Nevertheless he was grateful for this precious moment before his end.

He saw rain-like droplets fell on Ivan's face. One after another. It took him a while to realize it was his own tears. His body quivered and he felt himself breaking down after months of concealed emotions.

The death of his child. The death of his alpha. The months where he endured through pain just for his hope to be shattered.

He didn't want to die. No, he didn't want to die.

He chocked down his cries because he didn't want to frighten the child. But he let out whimpers that paled in comparison to the internal screams resonating within his heart and soul.

It was his dark blue eyes that embraced him. Eyes that looked like they could almost be amethyst. They seemed to say…

 _It's okay. We'll be okay._

Yao smiled through his tears and held the boy close to him. "Let's live okay? Little Ivan, I promise you we will survive."

He placed a kiss on his small forehead and began humming a melancholic lullaby that the maids used to sing to him when he was a child.

It was December. But instead of snow, ashes danced in the windless sky.

 _TBC (?)_

* * *

AN: Omg I love omegaverse rochu, but that is literally non-existent in the English speaking community. So hence this is born.

Although I have this whole AU planned out, I don't have the time, dedication, and most importantly, the talent, to write this properly. So I'm afraid there is a very high possibility that this story won't get continued. And it's sad cause I feel I'm the most depressed person over this LOL. That said, I do very much want to develop Yao's relationship with his first alpha through flashbacks. And yes... his alpha that died was Soviet. (Here, Soviet and Russia are two different people, completely unrelated)

So if I don't update this here's the basic summary. The story will focus on Yao's development as a person in a cruel world. Despite he, himself being a child at 14 years old, he had to raise Ivan. His own stillborn child (Ivan was named after it :x) propelled his actions and he devoted his entire life making sure Ivan can grow up to be _happy_. Yao had to become strong and he had to fight for their survivals. An omega raising a child in poverty on his own is impossible, but Yao did everything within his power (and even those that were not) just so Ivan could have a chance to live. Even though Yao is the only parent/guardian Ivan has ever known, because they were not biologically related, because one was an omega and another an alpha, and because Yao was the single constant thing giving him love, the older Ivan got the more intense his feelings became. And once he neared the age of maturity, he wouldn't be able to control his 'urges'. And that is where angst and smut come in. If I do continue this story, the rating will definitely go up. Overall this is a very tragic story about growth, sacrifice, the bonds of family, and the lines that they crossed :x, but it does have a happy ending. Well I guess it makes no difference if I don't write it lol.

Also the sentences italicized were Yao's memories of Soviet.

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I didn't know that I was going to continue this story. But here I am now.

Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs, and follows, that's probably one of the main reasons why I'm updating this. I was genuinely surprised by all the extremely kind, encouraging comments. Here is an apology for updating so late.

* * *

The road that was grey during the day just melted into the darkness of the night. A trail of dust followed after a grudgingly moving carriage; its wooden wheels stumbled over rocks on the endless river of asphalt; the horse carried on weakly as if its muscles were full of stones; the passengers sat silently, soaked in the saturation of darkness. That was the only comfort. The fact that they could only see the outlines of the others made them less compelled to make small talks, to ask about the others' stories, to, perhaps, even utter their own tales.

Coughs, sighs, and light rustling of hays could be heard within the enclosed space. But if one listened very carefully, he could discern the gentle murmurs that were softer than the whispering wind. Seated by the corner, the silhouette of a fragile frame was illuminated by the faint glimmer of moonlight; covered in tatters and dirt, skeletal arms lovingly rocked the small bundle of joy.

Pity. Shame. Condolences. Those were the unspoken feelings directed at the young boy.

Any children born of this time was doomed to either die prematurely or grow up knowing only sufferings and injustice. Bad luck for the baby, but maybe even worse luck for the mother, they thought condemningly. _He looked so young to be marked. This had to be his firstborn. Where was the father? How could he take care of a baby if he couldn't even survive on his own? If I were him, I would take mercy on my child. Those poor souls._

The young boy smiled at the sleeping infant. Ignorant to the gnawing pain in his stomach, numb to the soreness in his legs and back, he focused his consciousness on the little glimmer of life in his arms. Pale eyelashes fluttered in the slight air movements; pink lips pressed together with its corners curled up; He looked like he was having a good dream, Yao thought happily. He wandered if he dreamt of a world that was far away from their reality; he wandered if he was dreaming about his birth mother; did he remember her? There hadn't been a day gone by where Yao could not recall the face of his own child. B-but…he was…gone. And the baby, _Ivan_ , slept soundly in his arms right here, right now. He might be incapable of many things, but as long as he could take care of this child, then perhaps he was worth being alive too. "What a good boy you are," Yao spoke quietly, muttering to himself, cooing the infant. He was scared. He was afraid of the uncertainties, and their seemingly bleak future. But if Ivan could sleep and dream for another day, that was enough for Yao to get going.

Strands of inky hair escaped through his loose hairband. Their ends caressed those rosy cheeks, tickling the boy in his dream. Sleep became a foreign visitor for Yao, and when his eyelids would finally close under exhaustion, there was no rest waiting for him. He had no dreams left… Except, maybe, for one.

Soon, they would be there. After days of travelling on the road, they were close to one of the sanctioned camps. For a precious moment, Yao allowed himself to hope. He had heard rumors of food, running water, shelter, and opportunities of a community there. He knew he should be wary of things that were too good to be true, yet he couldn't help but to fantasize about the thought of peaceful settlement after everything that had happened. His little Ivan could grow up in a house with a roof over his head; he could have friends to play with; he could have food waiting for him on the table. Yao squeezed the cotton blanket, his bloodshot eyes darkening with clouded sentiments. All those things he took for granted. What he wouldn't give to return to the simpler times.

The carriage wheels and horse's hooves left rough, squiggly lines on the road carved out by travellers from earlier. Who knows how many had embarked on this exact same journey with hope and desperation. Starving, and optimistic. Sick, yet grateful for another day.

He was alone, but he was used to that feeling.

He was alone, but now he was not.

Warm despite the cold night. Yao stared at the darkness through the spaces between the wooden planks. He could make out the silhouette of dry glass over the vast fields of drought. Acres and acres of dust settled over the land that was once fertile with vegetation. He blinked at the unchanging scenery; his eyelids slowly giving in to the monotonous surrounding. Then a flicker of color caught his eyes. He squinted at the strange intruder. Gradually, the red dot became clearer as it flew beneath the translucent light, and landed between ones of those spaces. Yao almost chuckled. He hadn't seen a ladybug since that day, what felt like a lifetime ago.

* * *

~3 years ago~

The boy held his breath as its nearly invisible feet nimbly touched the page of his textbook. Red and black against a space of mostly white, the ladybug walked haughtily, stepping over the names of ancient kings and queens. A glowing pair of watchful eyes followed its movement across the lambskin paper, careful not to alert the snobbish creature of a looming presence. His hands slowly, but surely, caged in around the unsuspecting prey. Closer, and closer, he was almost…There!

A loud clap resonated within the walls of the large room. Yao grumbled as the insect effortlessly fled beyond his reach. His fingers reached out for the ladybug, but all he could grasp was air. "Wait, come back!" the boy called out as he chased the tiny insect around the table, knocking down his bottle of ink, and stacks of scrolls in the process. He laughed as he missed, again and again, to capture the ladybug. Just when he was inches away from touching those dotted wings, the door was abruptly opened and Yao could forecast the disapproving face without even turning around.

"Young master, what on earth are you doing?!"

Yao winced at the shrilling voice. He took a deep breath, then reluctantly turned to face Old Nan. "Umm," he laughed nervously. "Nothing?" He pursed his lips as soon as his reply came out sounding more like a question.

The old woman surveyed the room where spilled ink dripped down the edge of the table. Raising an eyebrow, she sighed. "Yao, do you know where your parents are right now?"

Immediately the boy knew where the conversation was heading. He resisted the urge to complain, and answered obediently. "Yes, I know," he said almost impatiently. "They are in the Great Hall meeting up with some lords."

Old Nan nodded. "Yes, noble lords who are competing to be _your_ mate." The boy grimaced at her emphasize. "Now what do you suppose they will think when they see that you are still acting like a child, chasing bugs and insects?"

"I haven't even gotten my first heat yet…" Yao mumbled under his breath. Eyes looking down at the intricately woven carpet under his feet.

"It is time to grow up, young master," Old Nan said in a pleading tone. "You know what your parents expect of you. You know what your alpha expects of you…"

The boy didn't look up. Instead, his finger traced the indents on the table. "I know," he said quietly. Ever since his age passed two digits, he noticed the difference in the adults' attitude towards him. They kept telling him to grow up, to get ready for the new chapter in his life; it was unfair that his brothers and sister didn't have to worry about any of this. But of course, they weren't required to, they weren't an _omega_ like him. Yao never liked that word. There was a hidden connotation within the term, something he never quite understood. He was different, the adults told him. Biologically, they said. But Yao saw no difference between himself and the other children; they were all humans, weren't they? Mentally, they said. While Yao didn't pretend to comprehend the minds of others, he thought he was quite accomplished in terms of academics, music, and the arts. His tutor praised him much more than his siblings, a sense of proudness secretly swelled within his chest. Yao never thought of himself as lacking in any ways to the others, but whenever he hears _that_ word, there existed an undeniable sensation of dread. _You're an omega…I know._

Old Nan stared at the sulking boy sympathetically. She raised the boy like he was her own. She was there when he spoke his first word, when he took his first step, when he first picked up a pen and then a wooden sword. There was nothing that filled her with more joy than looking at the young master grew up. Yet now, she was afraid. Afraid for him because that one inevitable day was approaching. He was just a boy. Not even twelve years of age. There was no time to prepare him for his new reality. Alas, perhaps…maybe it was a good thing for him to act like a little boy for a while longer.

"Did you finish memorizing the poems and copying the scrolls?"

"Uh huh," Yao responded, fidgeting with the hem of his blouse.

"If you already finished going over your studies, then I suppose your siblings wouldn't mind seeing their older brother." Her eyes softened, the wrinkles deepening around the corners of her lips.

"Really?!" Yao's face suddenly broke into a smile. "Does that mean I can go to the courtyard and play with them?"

"I said you can see them, I never suggested for you to play-"

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" The boy was grinning from ear to ear. He ran out of the door before Old Nan could even finish her sentence.

"Be careful!" She yelled after him. But of course, she doubted if the boy even heard her.

Yes, perhaps there was good in letting him be a little boy…for a while longer.

The air was pungent with the fragrance of cherry blossoms. Petals rained down in a steady trickle upon the care-free children. Their laughter was imbedded in the fleeting memento of spring. Years later, maybe the courtyard would be devoid of the noises of youth, but the flowers would bloom again. Cruel, yet beautiful. Branches of forever glittering gold.

"Hey Yao, didn't mom specifically say you are not allowed to play with swords?" The young girl taunted her oldest brother, stalling his strike with her own wooden sword.

Yao glared at her, equally stubborn, refusing to back down. "She said I shouldn't play with swords. She never said anything about teaching my younger sister a lesson." He smirked, and before she could have a chance of counteracting, he whipped around and tripped her with his feet. "Respect your elder," he said coolly, pupils glinting proudly. His timber blade pointed to the throat of the girl on the ground.

Claps were sounded behind them, where Yao's brothers watched him emerge victorious. Throwing the wooden sword on the ground, Yao offered her a hand. The girl stuck her tongue out at him, but still grabbed it nonetheless. "You're so mean," she teased. "I can't believe someone like you would cheat."

Yao shrugged good-naturedly. "Stop being a sore loser, I won." He pulled her up, and dusted off the dirt from her clothes. "If mom sees you this dirty, she's going to murder us."

"If mom finds out that you've been secretly practicing swordfight…" she said, intentionally not finishing her sentence.

"Yao, you've gotten better," One of Yao's brothers changed the subject before a fight broke out again.

"You too," Yao glanced back at Kiku walking towards them. "Another round?"

Kiku shook his head. "No, I'll pass. Besides, Yao, are you sure you can stay this long here with us? Did you finish your lessons? What if mom or dad passes by-"

"They're busy," the youngest brother spoke in a low voice. "I saw another visitor arriving at the main gate just a while ago."

"Visitor?" The girl, Yuemei, started giggling. "Well there's just one reason for visitors coming to our house these days." She skipped around Yao, twin tails bouncing up and down. "Yao-Yao is getting married~" Her dimples appeared like the fresh buds of blossoms. "Soon Yao-Yao will have a baby in his stomach!"

"Shut up, Mei!" Yao scowled. Face gradually reddening in colour, he glowered at her. "I am not going to have a baby!"

"Oh, but yes you are," she smiled innocently. "Mom said you're going to have a baby once you get married."

"Well, I'm not getting married!"

She stopped in front of him, smiled smugly, and whispered in his ear. "I think I saw one of your suitors entering the Great Hall. You'll like this one."

Yao rolled his eyes, yet the redness on his face didn't dissipate. "What do you know," he muttered dismissingly.

"He's way taller, and bigger than father," the girl ignored his comment. "I heard from the servants that he's from Slavic territory. Didn't you say you always wanted to travel there? Oh! and he was wearing fur on his armor! I think they were bear fur or something, how cool is that?!"

The boy tried imagining the suitor in his head, his ribcage tightening around his heart. "What does he look like?" He asked nonchalantly, attempting to hide his curious undertone.

"Umm, he's an alpha. What do you think he looks like?" Yuemei laughed. "They all look kind of the same with their muscular builds, you know. But he looks like he could crush anyone with just his bare hands. Break their skulls, tear off their flesh-"

"Mei, that's enough," Kiku warned.

"What? if mom and dad are talking to him this late in the afternoon, he could seriously be a contender. I think Yao deserves to know about his potential alpha."

"You don't know if this Slavic lord is really going to be chosen by mom and dad," Kiku argued.

"Well it's a possibility," she crossed her arms.

"I doubt they're going to pick someone this savage for Yao if he truly is what you described him to be."

"Maybe he's the relative of some king in the North, maybe he has money…I'm just saying, you don't know who our brother is going to be wedded off to, it could very well be him."

"Or it could be someone else. An actual prince asked for his hand in marriage last week."

"Oh please, he was only a beta, you really think our parents are going to accept a beta for their precious omega son?"

Kiku knew he wouldn't win against his younger sister. "You sound like you're more interested in Yao's marriage than he is."

Speaking of their older brother, by the time their arguments dissolved into mutual agreement, Yao was already gone from his spot.

The sweet scent of cherry blossoms became diffused with the warming breeze. Despite the setting sun beckoning the arrival of nighttime, light shone brightly against each falling petal.

Blooming, just for the purpose of descending, falling, willingly plunging into the waves of oblivion.

Yao crouched silently behind the crimson curtain, straining his ears to hear the conversation taking place inside the Great Hall. He had sneaked into one of the back rooms reserved for prayers, and now he prayed not to be discovered. If his parents found out that he was trying to see the face of his suitor, he wouldn't dare to imagine the trouble he would be in.

This was strictly forbidden.

To glimpse at the face of one's mate before the wedding ceremony was not allowed. But curiosity overcame all those other voices telling him to walk away. Just a peak was enough, Yao told himself. Just a simple peak at one of his suitors, and maybe hearing his voice. Yes, he decided he would be satisfied with just seeing the face, and hearing his voice.

It annoyed him that he was acting like a thief in his own home, but it couldn't be helped. It seemed like everyone knew more about his future mate than he did; why shouldn't he be entitled to a peak? It wasn't like he was doing anything morally wrong…

He could only see the outline of the alpha. And Mei was right about his physique. The Northern lord was certainly…big, to say the least.

Through the scarlet silk, Yao observed the strange visitor. Even without seeing his facial features, Yao could notice his strong jaws and broad shoulders. How old was he? In his twenties? Thirties? The boy blushed unconsciously. What would this man think of him if he knew he still slept with his teddy bear? And if his parents were to pick this Northern man, then he would have to… then he must sleep beside that man every night…and eventually give him a…child, a baby. The boy knew his face must be flaming red right now, the shade of the silk. The room suddenly felt like it had risen in temperature, for his blouse clung uncomfortably to his heated skin.

He could make out the voices of his parents but the suitor's intonation was too muffled. His throat bobbed anxiously. Yao could distinguish some words and his name, but he was lost as to what they were actually talking about. _Too young_. _War. Next winter. A bet. Promise me. Wang Yao._

His heart pounded in his chest.

The aroma of incense ignited a burning desire.

His fingers, trembling, lifted up the silk.

Flesh paler than winter itself; Eyes shimmering, reflecting the untamed snowstorm.

Their eyes met. Perhaps. Maybe.

 _All I ever wanted was to be closer to you._

 _TBC._

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! I hope it wasn't disappointing.

This story is gradually getting very dark. The rating will go up pretty soon if I do continue this (I probably will...maybe...but the updates will be slow because I'm really really busy).


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